Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
