have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
