I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
