Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
