idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize