seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
