forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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