Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
