All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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