i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
