you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
