Heybabeimwearingurpanties
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
