So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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