shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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