it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
