just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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