her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
