So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just invented taco cereal.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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