Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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