its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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