I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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