nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
