I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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