there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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