great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize