Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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