Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
