I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
and she was petting her beer can
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
