why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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