found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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