I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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