On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
false alarm, still single
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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