I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
