Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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