some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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