I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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