That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
