I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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