handjob tips. give me some.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
