Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize