I skipped work to stalk him.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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