He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
