Plan B is the new Plan A
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize
