Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
