Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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