no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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