Your tits are I can't wait for
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
