i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
