I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
