Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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