New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
