Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
