I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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