Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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