it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Barsexuality is the new black.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
