Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Panties = found
Randomize
