i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
