brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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