community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
