yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
