Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
